i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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