It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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