on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.