My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm