Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight