i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
home. puking in laundry basket.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.