We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
