apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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