dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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