I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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