I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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