You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
