i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
