great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
