why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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