i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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