Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize