He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
