i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
