Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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