ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
