Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need a beard to bite.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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