OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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