omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
