The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize