Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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(678): View more from Georgia

That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.

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(616): View more from Michigan

She acts like you when your on meds

(510): View more from California

She acts like batman?

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(619): View more from California

I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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(678): View more from Georgia

This show inspires me to have sex in space

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(850): View more from Florida

my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?

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(520): View more from Arizona

You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

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(941): View more from Florida

She looks like a beluga.

(954): View more from Florida

I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.

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