I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
