onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
