did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
