I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
