Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
