We're like a lot better than the average bears
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
