I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
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You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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