he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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