I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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