ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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