I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
