i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
