God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
wat bout pragnant strippers??
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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