so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
