Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
