i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
