pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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