Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
