from now on my penis is your penis
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
