Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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