i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
only you would photoshop your dick
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
