You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
