so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
