the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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