i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
