1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
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Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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