You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize