Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
jump out the window naked night went bad
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
