I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I look better un-naked...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
