i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
