i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
