Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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