You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
