Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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