Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i think im in europe. pls send help
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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