My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I am mentally ready for anal.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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