So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
