So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
