I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
