ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
